Friends with Benefits

There is pop culture meaning behind the clause "friends with benefits" or the textspeak acronym FWB. In general, the boundaries of friendship imply love, intimacy, and commitment. These concepts, however, vary in meaning to different people, even friends. FWB often implies sexual intimacy without monogamy, but within the emotional bond of friendship. Pop culture labels can be both too broad and too limiting. In a relationship, friends may have different ideas about what a friend worthy of benefits means and what those benefits entail. To me, FWB means friends who mutually bring benefits to their friendship. A person becomes a friend, but the relationship may start as an acquaintance at work, a relative, or maybe neighbors. The elements that elevate the relationship are personal character and a willingness to show an interest in one another.

Before we discuss benefits, let's clarify something about friendship. Friendship is under the umbrella of relationship. Healthy relationships with others must start with a loving, intimate, committed relationship with self. Each person involved in a friendship knows who they are, loves their self, and actively seeks personal fulfillment independently and within the friendship. The roles are not always reciprocal, but friends consider one another's wants and needs.

Benefits do not have to be limited to physical pleasure.

The limiting pursuit of hedonistic pleasure is unworthy of a healthy relationship. In life, benefits can include so much more than sexual favors. Friendship offers emotional support, financial assistance, and physical comfort. Some examples of comfort are a shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold. Other benefits include a place to hide or crash for a few days; a listening ear or advice. As friends journey through life, including the consequences of good and bad decisions, aging, geographic moves, knowledge gained through education or work experience, benefits can mean so much more than sexual favors without commitment.